Until the Summer of 2004, I’d never really been much of a competitive person when it came to sports. It was then that I decided to do my first triathlon.  But, by early fall, that became sidelined for what became 6 years for my other sporting passion, open-wheel race cars.  Oddly enough, the performance challenge I’ve had racing cars manifests itself in triathlon, and, not surprisingly, in life.  Some may read this and think, “Hey Jason! How could you not realize this?!?! It’s basic…” but it wasn’t for me. So sharing, in this case, is my way of caring.

For most of my life, when challenged, my fight-or-flight instinct has skewed to the fight side, almost to a fault. But not because of my desire to reach the goal, but rather as a response to being challenged. I always thought the fight focused on me. Exceptionally egotistical, I do realize. But maybe, just maybe, this is just a glint of hope that I’m maturing a little .

Last weekend, I attended an Open Water Race Clinic held by Swim Art at Aquatic Park in San Francisco.  As I continue journey within the sport of triathlon, I’ve found myself in a similar predicament as when I drove open wheelers. It happens at the start of the race when you’re literally assholes to elbows together with between 100-1600 of your closest “friends” in the swim.  The situation is unbelievably tense. It’s bizarrely similar to to the stress of hurling yourself down a snaking strip of asphalt at 160MPH with a couple dozen of your closest (in all senses of the word) “friends.” Both sports involve more contact that anyone desires.  Both sports involve a very clearly called out degree of mortal peril.  And, in both sports, there’s a realistic possibility, or at least your mind and gut believes, that you might very well and truly perish.

However, it wasn’t until this weekend when Kelly, our coach, said a simple statement that threw all of that on its head.  She opened my eyes in the world of sport and in life. In nearly all cases, no one you’re racing against truly wishes you harm, foul and none have any sort of dastardly agenda with you as the primary target.  Instead, and just altogether so simply, you happen to be in the way of them reaching their goal.  Nearly always the goal is two-part.  First, everyone wants to get themselves out of harms way as fast as possible. Second, everyone wants to achieve their goal in the race.  It has nothing more to do with you except that you are there at that moment and you, for your part, had the misfortune of being in their path.  Similarly, this applies to people whom you must pass and whom put you in precariously perceived positions during the race. However, your interaction with them doesn’t involve “sorry.” You didn’t intend to harm the other person, or them you. Sure, there are cases when some people are simply douchebags. It’s pretty obvious harm is their primary intent and, in my opinion, those situations should be dealt with swiftly and altogether differently. But, that being said, I believe that most people compete to “win” whether it’s being in the top 10, winning their age group, etc and to do so in a civilized fashion.

And that’s just it. It hasn’t been you for all these years that compromise the way I perform, it’s been me.  When you’ve nudged me, bumped my shoulders, lovetapped my gearbox (wow that sounds dirty), or swum right over me, it hasn’t been to rob me of my life, but just to win. That goes for the people who cut me off on the road, and the people who bump me in line at the Post Office.

Armed with this, I’ve had probably the most centered and enjoyable day in nearly a decade with the exception of the day I married my dear wife.

I hope that others get what I mean and it helps them as it seems to have already helped me.  The next year will be a test both personally and professionally and I’m truly looking forward to whatever may be in store.